It’s safe to say I am thoroughly bloody miserable.
Not only is this baby now nine days overdue but I am
throwing up everything again for the second time this week and feel like utter
shit.
I’m guessing it’s down to the hormones but I am so fed up I
just want this baby out now.
Tuesday’s vomiting episode led to a fever and a trip to the
hospital on Wednesday after my blood pressure shot up and we thought I had
pre-eclampsia again.
Fortunately, everything settled down and I came back home
but after two failed sweeps and the pressure of induction looming over me I am
feeling pretty pissed off.
The problem with induction is because I had a caesarean with
Arlo, I can’t have a pessary (synthetic prostaglandins which help to ripen the
cervix) due to the risk of scar rupture, and so they only way they can induce
me is by breaking my waters and then they may put me on a syntocinon drip if my
uterus decides it doesn’t want to contract.
But, if they can’t break my waters they will want me to have
a caesarean, and the thought of being pumped full of synthetic hormones to make
my womb contract fills me with dread.
So far I have refused induction but if I get to 42 weeks on
Thursday I know I will get statistics about the risk of still birth hurled at
me by the doctors.
The last month of pregnancy has been really bloody hard and
I can’t say I’ve enjoyed it all that much.
At 36 weeks Arlo gave me a stomach bug which resulted in me
chucking my guts up into a bucket of wallpaper paste, while on my hands and
knees, in our bedroom, while Arlo stood next to me shouting: “Mummy be sick.
Mummy be sick.”
We live in a tiny Victorian terraced house and our bathroom
is a 1960s extension built on to the back of the house downstairs, so I had no
choice but to find the nearest receptacle to chuck up in as I couldn’t leave
Arlo on his own upstairs while Johnny was having a shower before work.
My feet have been swollen since 36 weeks and my right foot
throbs constantly. I can’t get my shoes on without help and walking is painful.
I stopped driving once I got to 40 weeks pregnant as it
became too uncomfortable so that limits what we can do at the moment and poor
Johnny and Arlo are having to put up with the grumpiest woman in the world at
the moment.
I know I must sound ungrateful for what I have. I am not. I
know how lucky I am to be having another baby and that when she comes it will
be an amazing day. But being heavily pregnant is really fucking hard and at the
moment it feels like it will never end.
